The world we live in sucks. Now do not misunderstand, life is beautiful. The opportunity to breathe, to learn, to taste, to explore, to conquer, and to discover is marvellous. It is a privilege that no one should take for granted. Unfortunately, that is more than often not the case. We overexert ourselves planning the details, crunching the numbers, rushing to get things done, comparing ourselves with others. We focus solely on the destination while forgetting to enjoy the journey. Everyone is so busy running around trying to be the best, the greatest, the quickest, the first. Most of the time we make ourselves sick with stress. We have free will and everything we do, we do willingly. We create obligations for ourselves and strain ourselves to fulfil our “duty”.
When I feel a little down, I’ve noticed that a quick coat of pink nail polish or even 10 minutes in a tanning bed can really make it worth having gotten out of bed that morning. However silly this may sound, these simple pleasures make me smile. I smile enough to realize that it’s not that bad, or I’m not as upset as I thought. I think level-headedly about what was bothering me to begin with. If something is causing discomfort, I try to distance myself. If I have a rift with someone, I try to talk to them and try to reach an understanding. If I’m unhappy with what I’m doing, I try to think of what I want instead. I tend to surround myself with the people I am the most comfortable around. I get really into arts and crafts, because it is my favourite pastime.
I don’t always manage to correct the situation, but I always realize something about myself. In trying to cope with a situation, I sometimes remember or rediscover the people and things I enjoy the most. I think about what I want to fix about my character or my situation, and how to amend it. I don’t always succeed but it helps me to appreciate myself. However, I am sometimes shocked at my own behaviour and these are the revelations which yield the most perspective. Before I calm down enough to think, though, I am extremely hard on myself. I am critical, I doubt and question, I curse. I think and I cry and I sulk until I realize nobody is perfect, neither am I.
We cannot be perfect yet our goal is to attain perfection. By understanding it does not exist, and equating perfection with “freedom from discomfort and struggle” we are able to find what we need to be happy and have a “perfect life” free of strain. We need to think of what we REALLY want instead of what we don’t have. If we focus on the positive (what we excel at, what makes us content, what we have earned) instead of the negative (what we failed at, what we lost, what upsets us) we will ultimately head down the right track. By changing our perspective we will be more open to possibilities and opportunities. We will notice coincidences and attract like-mindedness. By thinking of only the negative, we only torture ourselves, creating more and more negative thoughts. The power to change is ours. If we’re unhappy with something (our relationship or a friendship, our job, social life, etc…) it is because we do not want to be in that situation.
If we’re unhappy with something regarding our partner or friend, we need to talk to them. If we are honest and discuss our concerns and the outcome still does not satisfy us, we have a choice. End it. If something we are doing is making us unhappy, we need to just stop doing it. It’s simple: meet new people, get a new job, do new things. Find a hobby, take a class, join a group, or volunteer... anything. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE DOING. The goal do something DIFFERENT since obviously “the usual” doesn’t seem to be working. If we’re unhappy, it’s no one’s doing but our own. Whatever makes us sad, we have to replace it, basically. We need to try different things not giving heed to other people’s criticism, or popular beliefs; follow our instincts despite others’ advice; keep our eyes open for opportunity. We must think, but not over-analyze, find time to enjoy ourselves and give in to (harmless) guilty pleasures sporadically.
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